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Girls, Girls, Girls! - A Not-So-Quiet Obsession

Oh my, it's been a while since I've last made an entry in the blog; for that I'll have to apologize, I've been busy with a lot of Non-Anime related things for the most of November, and what with the holiday season upon us, I've found my time stretched pretty thin.

Anyway, despite that, I figured it was about time to compose a good old fashioned Angry Anime Nerd rant, and poke some fun at the fan-boys of the medium. Yeah, you know who you are, there is no sense running away from the light! You get back here and stand in line and expose yourself to the harsh reality of what you are!

This time I want to point out all the so-called dream girls of the otaku anime fan-boys. We have all seen them, and we all read about them in their posts on forums, or see their less-than-masterfully created tribute videos on YouTube, or even get bombarded with their anime girl's image from one end of the internet to the other. But I don't just want to point them out, I want to dig deep and try and figure out why they are so obsessed with each of these characters.

Bear in mind, that this is a partial list, and with each new anime that Japan floats our way, we get more of these fap-inducing drool-evoking fan-boy fantasies.

So what it is exactly about these characters that makes the average fan-boy of anime turn into a virtual character stalker? Makes them download hundreds of their images, and go on and on about them as if they were the one girl in life that gives it all meaning, and would probably sell their souls to Satan himself just to meet them in person?

Well, first we have to consider a few possibilities.

Possibility 1.

All these fan-boys are between the ages of 16 and 30, have never kissed a girl, and are in all probability; still single. So they fantasise about these characters as a release to their solitary boredom.


Possibility 2.
They are all pseudo-pervs that find a specific common attribute of each of these characters sexually exhilarating, and lust after them like any normal real life sexual deviant.

Possibility 3.
They are both single and they are pseudo-perverts.

Regardless of why they lust after these specific types of characters is a quandary that I seriously doubt anyone will find the answer to anytime soon.

So let's look at the girls in question, and see if perhaps they themselves can reveal the cause of the mass-orgy of lust and desire that runs rampant in the threads of Forums and Message boards, and compells people to collect every image form for safe keeping on their 1 TB hard drive.

First up we have the Quiet Silver Haired girl character that has caused more fapping and fan-boy lust in recent years than when they first discovered their uncle's Playboy in the garage behind that stack of shop towels.

Yuki Nagato
It is quite often that when a popular show emerges that it isn't the main charatcer that everyone is going to fan-gush and fan-gasm over. It's most likely the one character that sits in the corner of the room quietly reading and making pipping soft vocalizations when asked to speak. Of all the stereotypical Quiet Silver Haired type characters in past years it is Yuki Nagato from The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya that has stolen the hearts, and possibly palms of the fan-boys the most.

In reality she isn't really attractive. She's a nerd, she doesn't talk at all, she sits in the same spot day after friggin' day, and it's only when she is taking on a deadly enemy that she actually moves an inch or two. Very sloth-like if you ask me.

Her breast size is practically non-existent, which is another trait that attracts the fan-boys; and her stature is akin to a 6th graders, also a trait of mass preference. The glasses are just frosting on the fap-cake.

So why is she so lusted over? Maybe it's the fact that she presents a delicate "I can't fight back if you decide to molest me" quality. Maybe it's because, these particular fan-boys don't like a girl that can talk during sex, or talks at all. Maybe then they can insert what ever words they want her to say. It's a complete and utter mystery.

Aono Morimiya
Now if being quiet and shy and immobilized to a single spot wasn't enough to get the fan-boys blood stirring, then imagine a girl that is also quiet, shy, and sickly in bed.

Wow... talk about a fan-boy molester's dream come true. If you thought that a quiet shy girl couldn't stop you from fondling her, then imagine how little resistance there is to a sick girl confined to her bed. And Aono Morimiya from the anime Sola is just the type that has the pout and the silent frustration to drive all you fan-boys crazy. Sadly, as far as silver haired girls go, she is far outshined by Yuki Nagato, but still manages to have the same body traits and figure; no breasts, no hips, most likely no puberty.

Sanya V. Litvyak
Oh they just get younger don't they?

Now I've seen and read a lot of the topics on Strike Witches, and there are two primary characters that always come up in heated fan-boy discussion, one is usually always Sanya. The now common-place silver haired girl that is quiet, shy, total lack of breasts, and instead of being bedfast like Aono from Sola, is just a great big sleepy head.

She is also 14 years old, which makes any of the fan-boys fapping to her image a little on the distured side. But oh well, she at least has more of a fighting chance with resisting their sexual assaults since she is a trained combat fighter, and like most fighter pilots in WWII they did at least have some hand to hand combat training as well, along with basic self defence. The only real hope for a lustful fan-boy is to catch her while she is sleeping. Good luck though, she has a habit of sharing her bed with her roommate, and even though she is always sleepy, she isn't that heavy of a sleeper.

Noël Kannagi
Another similar sleepy-head silver haired shy, can barely talk and is no doubt the rave of the fan-boys is none other than Noel Kannagi. The Tank pilot and mechanic of the 1121st platoon in the anime Sora no Woto.

The only thing that really seperates her from the other characters is her background story. Otherwise she would probably be seen as a carbon copy silver-haired chick with nothing going for her except her stereotypical persona.

Unlike Sanya from Strike Witches, Noel is at least 15 years old, so the fan-boys stroking themselves to her bashful and mediocre demeaner don't have to feel too bad about themselves. Like the others however, she has no breasts to speak of, no real talent for speaking, and is always more or less a lawn and garden object than a real placed character.


Shinobu Maehara
If the girl in question isn't one incapable of holding a steady conversation, then it's going to be the shy cute little girl that usually comes along a few episodes in to the series. Like Shinobu from Love Hina who is most likely the only character that you will honestly remember with any sort of kawaii fondness. 

It isn't to say that she is the sole focus of the lustful lechers, but there is no denying that in their secret places, that only the fan-boys go to; they have a little place set aside just for her.

Never mind that she is 12, and in middle school. Never mind that she does practically nothing in the show except state the obvious; it's the persona that she embodies that captivates the fan-boys. 

Flat chest. Check!
Shy. Check!
School girl uniform. Double Check!
Might call you Big Brother... You wish!


Azusa Nakano
Once again, it isn't a lead character that all the fan-boys crush on, or even remember over all the other more deserving characters, it's the tiny petite flat-chest that has twin pig-tails and a guitar that is bigger than she is.

I've seen a lot of K-On love in my time, but nothing like the love and attention that Azusa gets. From gifs to tribute videos and even ignorant Azunyan wallpaper where she's posed like a kitty cat, it's a clear indicator that the fan-boys again, only see the stereotypical girls that are more or less easy targets for those with a lolita complex or a little sister fetish.

It's almost a curse of the anime industry, because at some point, it becomes blatantly obvious which girls are gonna get the fan-boy slobber, and which ones are not. And from what I've seen Azusa gets a ton of slobber.

Flat chest. Check!
Shy. Check Check!
School Girl Uniform. Heck Yeah!
Inability to resist the horny fan-base. Check and Check!
Nyaa? Who Cares... as long as the fan-boys can daydream about ****ing her!

Yue Ayase
From a show of over 30 girls, that's right I said THIRTY! The fan-gasms are more or less tied with two characters. Yue Ayase, and Nodoka Miyazaki (no relation to Hayao Miyazaki); but of those two, the most aggressive form of fan-gushing and fan-gasming has been mostly directed toward Yue Ayase from the hit anime Negima! and the disputed thought of better re-make Negima!?.

She really is a mystery of the fan-base. She has no definitive characteristics aside from being stereotypically petite, somewhat aloof, and sporting a forehead that could pass for a Airport tarmac.

She's a slacker, mediocre, droll, has no ambition about school, career or much of anything; and this is the palm-pilot flavor of the past four and a half years!

It's easy to imagine fantasizing about a character that has something in common with oneself, but aside from the sheer slacker mentality, she is just a face in amongst the crowd of others.

Sure she has a homely cuteness to her, but what exactly is it about her character that would make the fan-boys swear un-dying loyalty and devotion to her? What about her retarded hair-style is so maddeningly attractive? And you can't deny that the fan-boys are attracted to her. I've gone toe to toe against a throng of Yue fan-boys, and have always walked away scratching my head, saying... "I just don't get it!"

I mean, aside from carnal feelings of wanting to bang her to death, I see no real justification for even liking her all that much. Which makes me wonder why they would even want to bang her to begin with.

Well, aside from the deviation in personality, she does still fit the criteria for their daydreams.

Flat Chest. Almost... probably still in a training bra.
Petite Body. Double Check!
Shy. Check... but barely.
School Girl Uniform. Can I get an AMEN!
Can easily fight off the horde of horny fan-boys. I'm gonna say... not.

So, after all this is said and done; sadly I have no more clue as to the blind infatuation some fan-boys in the fan-base have with these characters, or their character types. It may always be a mystery, and we may never know.

I know that crushing on a character isn't news by a long shot, and despite that real life isn't made up of a single one of these underage girls to which we can lavish with complex after complex; it's still just entertainment after all.

So regardless of the epic fail that some of the fan-boys manifest time and time again, it's clear that their failure is what keeps the industry from failing. Because without their fetishes, complexes, and sexual fantasies we might not have half the titles we see now.

As an after thought though, I would warn those of you too deluded to breathe outside air any longer to really take a step back and reflect. Otherwise we might all end up like this dude here. Old, and bald... clutching a naughty body pillow in broad daylight.

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