Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Travis Willingham: Friend or Foe?

I want you to take a long close look at the picture here of voice actor, Travis Willingham. I want you to notice the perfect three day stubble, the thick brown hair, and the eyes of a man that can see the inside parts of a woman's soul that you will never know.

I want you to look and behold the most despicable man that I know of, and will most likely never actually know.

A man, whose very name is capable of sending me into crazed fury, and a man that will haunt me for the rest of my life, and most likely into the beyond.

Now you as a fan of Travis Willingham are no doubt wondering; why all the Willingham hatred, right?

Well the answer is a complicated one, and it goes back for several years in my fandom. Though in all honesty, it goes back to just a few years ago when I met my fiance, and I discovered a dark and hidden secret that I never knew would grow into the cancerous festering malice that I now hold for one man.

Unlike most Otaku, or anime nerds, I've managed to do the near impossible; I've managed to snag and engage myself to an amazing woman, and fellow lover of anime and manga, as well as video games. It's a feat that few other nerds have been able to pull off, and I count my lucky stars on a continual basis because of it.

However, there were some things that came with the engagement, that I figured would work themselves out over time, and one of them was my unbridled, singular hatred for Travis Willingham.

There isn't really anything wrong with Travis, he seems like a nice guy, he's pretty popular, and hell, he even has his own girlfriend (Laura Bailey). So what's the problem then?

The problem is that aside from being everything I am not, aside from having a full head of hair, which I do not, and despite his fantastic complexion, his is the one name on the lips of my fiance that will send me into the deepest darkest pit of depression, and jealous rage I've ever known.

I figured my petty jealousy was just a Summer thing, and that I would grow out of it as time passed. Wrong!

See, the fact of the matter is, my fiance is a fan of English VAs, she has an omnibus of names and VA film history in her head, and can recall their most minute of roles in mere nanoseconds. And the one name that finds its way cycled over and over again unexpectedly to the top of the list is of course, Travis Willingham.

Most times, it's not so bad, and my male ego isn't threatened in the slightest. But there are other times, when Travis Willingham and the words "amazing", and "awesome" come into play that I begin plotting my evil schemes, and the super villain in me works its way to the surface. Despite the fact that those words are usually only associated with the voices he's performed, for some pretty amazing and awesome characters. It still doesn't really matter, I hear "Travis Willingham does an awesome job playing Roy Mustang." and my testosterone injected brain only hears, "Travis Willingham is so amazing blah blah blah... must say the name Travis Willingham... blah blah blah... Oooooh Travis." And you get the picture.

Oh yeah, I'm pretty sure that Travis Willingham isn't actually going to come knocking on my front door, and whisk my fiance away to parts unknown, and have rapturous passionate relations with her... I hope. But it's the idea that as a man, and as a fiance, the last thing I want to know is that there is any man out there that is "awesome" or "amazing". Even if he saved an entire orphanage with one hand, while ending world hunger with the other. Ya know?

Truth is, I don't actually know Travis Willingham enough to say if I like him or dislike him. He is a great voice actor, and he has done amazing work. But as a soon to be husband, I have to lay down the law here. As a man whose only course in life is survival of the fittest, I have to flex my manly muscles here, and putteth forth the smack!

I'm letting it be known Travis that you have your own woman. Keep your hands off of mine, or there will be no end to the amount of hurt your world will get. I will gladly stand in line at some convention for five hours for a signature, just to give you a death glare—I'll keep the signature for my fiance—and then smirk like a true rival. I'll willingly buy all your merchandise for my fiance, and then secretly stare at it in the middle of the night loathing it. I'll pass notes to Laura and tell her that you made a pass at Carrie Savage that one time at band camp... oh don't think, I won't ruin your life!

Travis Willingham... you have been warned.



4 comments:

  1. Excuse me don't threaten Travis just because your woman is obsessed with him. its her own damn fault for having eyes for another man when she is with you. and besides, who wouldn't obsess over him, he's GORGEOUS!!!! absolutely perfect

    ReplyDelete
  2. Don't you ever do that to Travis Willingham Ever!!! Cause if you do I will find you and cut off your head if you ever ruin his life and this is will not end good for you

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lay A finger on Travis Willingham and you will sent straight to hell

    ReplyDelete
  4. If you even try to ruin his life then your goin get whats coming to you and don't worry we will make it slow and painful to you when we kick your ass over and over again

    ReplyDelete